Will I Ever Feel Pregnant?!

It feels like I've been pregnant forever, but really I've only known for two weeks. I'm not sure how I am going to last for 8 1/2 more months! I am such an impatient person. Normally when I decide I want something I wanted it yesterday. I've always known I wanted to be a mom, so this waiting is hard.

They say at 6 weeks is when you start to really feel pregnant, but I'm still not feeling it. Or I guess what I should say is, I'm not feeling what I think I should be feeling. I don't have that run to the bathroom, can't stomach food, nauseous feeling. What I do have is a queasiness that comes and goes throughout the day. I also don't have that breast tenderness that everyone says is horrible. I just have some slight discomfort when there is pressure put on my boobs. I do find myself having to use the bathroom a lot, but I've been SO thirsty lately that I've been drinking double what I normally do. And I drink a LOT of water to begin with. So I don't really count that as a real symptom.

I know a lack of pregnancy symptoms doesn't mean that anything is wrong, but I can't help but let my mind wander there occasionally. I don't think I can explain how badly I've wanted and waited for this. And thinking that it could be over before it starts is heartbreaking. I am a worrier. I worry mostly about things out of my control (because if they were in my control then I'd have control over the outcome. HA!). I know I will worry this entire pregnancy, but I do trust that God will do what he thinks is best for our family. He will not throw anything at us that we cannot handle. I am just taking this pregnancy day by day right now.

Today is actually a big day for us. Today is the day we tell our favorite people, Sean and Ashli, that we are expecting. Sean is Matthew's best friend and Ashli is his wife. They also have an adorable 2 1/2 year old daughter, Fiona, that I am in LOVE with. I love spending time with them and I am so excited to have someone in Denver that I can talk to about pregnancy, since she has gone through it already. I also really wanted Matthew to be able to have someone to talk to. Since we are trying to keep it a secret from most people I thought it was important for Matthew to be able to talk to someone. I told my mom, so its only fair.

First Midwife Appointment

Yesterday we had our first Midwife appointment. It was very long! I got there at 1:30 and didn't leave until almost 4:30. They asked a lot of questions, did an exam and took lots of blood. Everyone at the office was really nice. There are ten midwives and they work with a few doctors. They said that throughout my pregnancy I would probably see all the midwives, so when it came time to deliver my baby I would know the midwife that is on call. Their office is right across the street from the hospital and that's where I would be delivering. I like the idea of having a midwife delivery experience, but within the safety of a hospital, so if something were to happen I'd have immediate action.

Being vegan its really important to me to have a natural birth. Medication is not inherently vegan and because of that I would like to stay away from it if possible. Of course if something is needed, either for myself or my baby I wouldn't hesitate to take it. But that's why I was drawn to having a midwife. They prefer to have no medical intervention, but they are so tuned in to your pregnancy that they know right away if you need it. They will do everything they can to avoid it, but know when to transfer you over to a doctor.

So far I'm really happy with our decision. We have our first ultrasound September 19th, so I'm anxiously awaiting that day. I can't wait to see our little peanut and hear his heartbeat!

Besides this pregnancy I've had something else life changing happen. I've gotten glasses! I went to the eye doctors for the first time since I was a child and he told me that I was very farsighted! He said that I have probably always been farsighted, but I am so good at over correcting that no one (myself included!) noticed. I always wanted glasses when I was younger, so its almost like a childhood dream has come true! This is my third day wearing them, so I am still getting used to them. I will keep you posted on how much I actually like them.